Clumsy

That is a cork puller. I have one just like it, and had tried to use it, just once, before tonight. I was unsuccessful at removing the cork the one time I tried. Recently, I'd found some instructions and decided to give it another go.
The principle sounds simple. The two blades are gently inserted inbetween the bottle and the cork, starting with the longer blade. When both blades are in, you then slowly pull while turning, and the corks comes out. Simple.

The first time I tried it, I managed to get the blades all the way in, but I also pushed the cork a quarter of the way down. Then, when I tried to pull the blades out with the cork, the blades came out, and only little tiny chunks of the cork came with it. I had to rescue the bottle with a corkscrew. After finding instructions, I realized that I hadn't twisted as I pulled. That must have been the problem.

Tonight:

Firstly, I've been keeping bottles of wine on top of the fridge in my studio. It gets warm up there sometimes; I've noticed that bread molds more quickly when I keep it up there. Heat also pressurizes liquids in airtight containers.
I came home from work and took the bottle down, setting it on the counter: a bottle of Charles Shaw Shiraz. Otherwise known as two-buck chuck. I took a small white glass from my cabinet and set that beside the bottle. I then opened the cutlery drawer and removed the cork puller. I unsheathed the prongs and removed the metal foil from the top of the wine bottle. The foil came off well and neatly; I felt adept, but not for long.
I carefully pushed the longer of the two blades inbetween the bottle and the cork. A very tight fit, but I was able to get it in there. The second one was a little harder. The angle of the cork pulling blades is very strange, as they curve outward. It's difficult to insert both blades. I found that the second was having trouble, and, relying on the sharpness of the tip to find it's own way around the cork, I pushed down with a little more force.

It happened very quickly. There was a very loud popping sound and I felt wine splash all over my face and chest. There was wine in my eyes, and as I stood there, still holding the cork puller in one hand and the bottle neck in the other, I felt it burn into my eyeballs; I blinked stupidly for a moment, staring in offense at the bottle: how dare it?!
The first thing I did was turn on the water at the sink (I was luckily standing next to it) and take off my glasses to wash them, and my face. I put my glasses back on, water dripping, and looked around.
There was red wine everywhere. It was on the counter. There were scattered spots on a few of my clean dishes in the dish rack, as well as in the clean pans that I keep on the range. I cleaned those first. A couple of the drops had made it into my small white glass. There was wine on the floor too, but that was my last worry. There was wine on the white paint on my wall, and I could see it dripping down. I was surprised at how high up the streaks ran as my eyes followed them, ending at the ceiling, and a huge red splotch of wine that was up there, still dripping onto the floor, and me. I wiped the walls down with a sponge, and then dragged my computer chair over to work on the ceiling. The chair wasn't high enough, so I had to climb up onto the counter and sink rim, still wet from the wine and water used to clean it, and balance there in my socks while I scrubbed the ceiling.
I wasn't fast enough. There are faint red splotches and streaks all over the wall and ceiling in my kitchenette.
And my white shirt. It's in a bowl of detergent and hot water, soaking, but I have little hope for it.
Me, I finally came back to my bottle after all the cleaning. A cork floated at the top. I had to use a butter knife to push the cork away to let the wine flow out. I'm drinking it right now.

And I'm going to keep the cork puller. It's done me wrong, but the top portion is a really wonderful beer bottle opener. I thought about throwing it away, but no; I'll keep it around as a reminder to never use a cork puller again.