Searching for god

No this post isn't about searching for god.
It's just about some girl I used to know.
I met her while I was dating another girl, and she was the friend of a friend. When I met her I thought, "Dammit. Why am I dating this girl. This other girl is amazing!"
Soon after that, the relationship fell apart, though I hadn't intended it to.
Awhile later, I saw the other girl again. Started talking to her, and seeing her more often.
I was always so confused, I could never figure out what she was thinking, even though sometimes I felt like I knew. We became close, with more time, but not very close, then exploded one day, and only one day, and that was all it ever was.

It was the anticipation that really made it worthwhile.
Waiting and waiting and waiting and thinking, "oh my god (whoops, there's god) what the hell do I even still call this person for" and doing that for so long.
Waiting and waiting and waiting. It's easy to do. I've spent a lot of my life waiting for things. Most people have.
A good deal of my waiting time has been spent thinking about love, and why I do things.
Something I read recently elicited this: love in another is the search for god in heaven. When one turns from religion, releases from that all-permeating envelope of acceptance and peace in the fold, one must turn that which made one seek that, and place it somewhere. The need does not dissolve. Falling in love with someone, setting them effectively up as a god, is only natural.
If I were very religious, I might not need to think about women so much, and I might not write posts where I talk about girls long gone, and how this one time I threw an empty beer can at her head, but missed.
It's okay though, I intended to miss.